A gift freely given
Sometimes you learn a concept and it opens up a lot of clarity.
This happened when my husband and I learned what a “gift” really is.
A gift freely given has no strings attached.
There is no expectation of anything in return, not even an expectation of gratitude. Not even an expectation that the person receives it.
The gift is a complete expression. Nothing is missing or hidden.
Sometimes we resist receiving something when we sense that there are strings attached to it. There may be an unspoken sense of obligation (if I give / do this for you, it means that you will need to give / do that in return, but I won’t ever say that to you).
Operating this way – with murky communication and expectations – doesn’t feel good. It prevents us from giving and from receiving cleanly.
We learned about gifts in a Wheel of Consent training which had a lot of other valuable insights.
Next time you offer something, take a moment and check if it’s given freely. If it is, go ahead. If it’s not, ask for what you need instead of expecting it to come through as a result of the gift.
A good way to check if it’s freely given is to ask yourself if you’d be OK if the other person did not take it. If the answer is yes, you usually have no strings attached. If the answer is no, there is some digging to do there around why you think they must have it. 🙂
I’m headed offline for about 1 month. I may not have a blog in that time period. I will be focusing on giving only what I want to give freely, receiving many wonderful moments and experiences, and seeing how I can expand my capacity to give and receive cleanly.
New author discovery: Gay Hendricks. Check out his book The Big Leap if you want to give your mind something totally new to chew on. Hint: It has to do with how much goodness we can hold in our lives. Isn’t that a beautiful inquiry?
Until next time….