Finding your real edge
Let’s be honest.
What does it really take to create deep, identity shifting change in our lives (in ourselves, in our career, etc)?
Because there are lots of delay tactics that can masquerade as change.
We can delay by complaining to others about how bad things are, by blaming the conditions we are in, by hiding what we really feel about something, by flirting with change by taking baby steps every three months.
No judgement here, people. I know this dance. I think we all do.
I’ve paid money for experiences as a way to show I’m committed to change, only to show up partially.
I’ve participated in programs with one foot out the door.
[And I believe all of this has value, by the way…]
And then there have been moments when I’ve come face to face with a REAL edge. The kind of edge that, when you stare out at it, feels like the last place you would ever want to go.
Yet there it is. Asking me to make a decision: do I really want this? do I really believe I can do this?
Let me give you an example.
I joined a program. It told me all the things that would be different in my life if I took the steps. I paid all the $$. Showed up for the first day. And then they told me to do something that felt like the worst idea in the world to me. I froze.
They told me to go on the Facebook page – with hundreds of other people I did not know – and find an accountability partner to do the work with.
When I say this was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, it is not an understatement.
I procrastinated and procrastinated. I told myself I could do it on my own. I looked at other people’s posts and thought that could never be me. And I felt sick every time started to write a message to someone else.
I found a REAL edge. If I wanted to change, I knew I was going to have to muster the courage to find an accountability partner because if I didn’t, I would always know that I didn’t give it my all. This may sound dramatic, but a part of my ego needed to die….
It was actually a genius move by the organizer not to buddy us up. Because the act of having to do it myself made me claim – for myself – that this was something I really wanted. Because if I didn’t really want it, I wouldn’t bother.
So I did it.
I felt sick in the moment I was writing the post. But then, less than 1 day later, someone replied. And we were off. It was done.
Something changes in us when we are faced with a real edge and choose to step over it.
So if you’re looking for deep, lasting change (truly), I want you to be on the lookout for your REAL edge. Your edge will be unique to you.
Trust me. You’ll know when you find it. Others may hop over it no problem. But for you, it might just feel like the last place you’d ever want to go.
Be grateful when you find it. Because it’s your chance to learn – with the utmost clarity – if now is your time for this change or not.
If yes, then giddy up.
If no, you can finally give yourself permission to back off for a while. Either way, the clarity is liberating.
*****
I’m excited to share that I’m going to be developing a resource library for my coaching clients. I have pages of notes of exercises and reflection questions that I think can help people in their career and personal development journeys. Clients – stay tuned! I will be sharing the first resource this month. Not a client yet, but curious what coaching with me can offer? Book a career clarity call with me.