Not everyone likes me. And!
In my senior year of college, I applied and was accepted to lead a group of peers in a spring break service project. We were going to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina to help with the cleanup.
I am (usually) an introvert. Back then especially, I wasn’t someone who you would expect to step to the front of the group and put their hand up to be a group leader. And yet I did. Surprise #1.
To be honest I can’t remember my levels of anxiety about this role. I do remember being aware that I wasn’t going to have the feel of a “typical” leader and that there would probably be people who wouldn’t want to be in my group.
I WAS RIGHT.
But I didn’t find this out explicitly until the end of the trip. We went to New Orleans, I showed up with the best energy I had to offer. I stood in my role. I had great co-leaders around me who were supportive and energizing. We had a meaningful experience through the difficult, messy, and devastating work of gutting homes that had been flooded.
After it was all over, someone came up to me and told me that they did not think I was going to be a good leader and they did not want to be in my group. (AHHHH). They then shared that they were wrong – I did a great job and they had a great experience. (AHHHH). Surprise #2.
The part of me that worries if people like me said – see! I was right!! – and yet there was another part of me that said – people don’t know you…they may not like you, but this can change.
This is not to say that everyone who *knows* me will like me eventually – I do not believe this and I do not want this for a goal. What’s important for me here is:
what another person believes about us doesn’t define who we are, who we can be, and the impact we can have. All we can do is put our hand in the air and see what happens. We may just be surprised. Good leadership comes in ALL shapes and sizes, even mine (even yours!). Surprise #3.
[The person I mention is not in the picture but this is from that trip. Excuse the graininess. This pic is from the days of cameras with memory cards :)]